blake studdard

Last week I told Nick and the band I wouldn’t be playing with them anymore. It’s been 4 years of commitment to Nick, and I have to say I’ve grown musically in huge ways because of him. I’ve been a lot of places, seen a lot of cities (and even more tiny towns I never dreamed existed), become well acquainted with hotel rooms and driven conversion vans with trailers across a lot of state lines. I’ve learned how to play keys, run front-of-house in a CCM setting, turn on leslie cabs, mix on a digital board, and blow out subwoofers (and just about every other woofer). I’ve learned how to deal with the aches and pains of life in a suitcase, doing homework in a van or a hotel room, hoping my professors will let me skip multiple classes at a time. I’ve learned how to exist in an atmosphere where personalities clash, grow ugly, and face each other until issues are resolved, knowing they must invade each others’ space 24-7 until the month-long trip is over.

A lot has happened the past 4 years. Internal/External conflicting. Breakup-ing. Schedule stressing. Destiny rearranging. Heart following. Community defining.

And I’ve loved it.

But this movement marks a season shift. I’m going from a season fueled by passion and zeal to a season fueled by courage and rest. I’m learning how to follow You into the dark, knowing it will brighten up as soon as I step into it. Each new room in Your house feels different, and I’m amazed at how many I’ve found so far. This leads me to assume that I have many more to discover, and I’m excited about that.

I have a lot to say, and not a lot of energy to say it. But I know that in order to follow our destinies we need to kill the lions and kill the bears, and face each new choice with courage from the last one. We can’t act out of fear, unless we want to be destroyed.

To say something less vague :

I have no concrete plan as to what I’m doing now that I’ve created such an enormous space in my life. I know I want to press in to what community means. I know I want to write and record music. I know I want to explore the business world of photography with Evan. I know I want to do well my last year in school. I know I want to embrace the exploration of the heart and mind of God.