i’m about halfway through ‘reading the bible in 90 days.’
and i’m taking a break.
here’s why :
i’m aware that the past week and a half has been full of killing lions and killing bears. i quit a band that provided 90 percent of my income. i shot my first wedding as ‘207 photography cooperative’ with Evan. I found out a childhood mentor of mine is being charged with molesting a minor. My sister in law was admitted to a hospital for bed rest until my twin nephews pop out, which could be 8 weeks from now. i had at least 4 conversations with females about feelings and relationships: two good, one hard, one weird, all for their own reasons… did i mention this was all in a week and a half?
It’s occurring to me that when we kill a lion (make a courageous step in the direction God is pointing you), things blow up. Good things blow up, bad things blow up, weird things blow up, horrific things blow up… it all just blows up!
And for me, it couldn’t be more perfect timing. Sure, part of me wants to sit and read my Bible everyday, quietly move into a house with 5 other guys, and keep being comfortable, busy, detached “Rittle Brake.” (weird nickname i sometimes go by, sorry). But my spirit has been screaming. For about a year, I’ve been so disoriented: ‘How do I get back to intimacy?’ ‘What do I do to interact like we did before?’ ‘Why aren’t the methods working anymore?’ ‘Why can’t I connect socially?’ … These are some of the questions that have been roaring inside me.
There’s no way I could’ve handled the events of the past week and a half… before the past week and a half. I could’ve walked through them (numb and disengaged), but i couldn’t have handled (actively responded to) them.
So I’m killing lions and I’m killing bears. I’m giving away what I have. I’m following You into the dark. And you’re injecting me with courage. You’re giving me double portions (the fact i’m having twin nephews is a cute allusion to that one). You’re bringing clarity like you said you would.
This is for everyone who is thirsty. Drink it.
1 Comment
July 26, 2009 at 1:14 pm
“Sure, part of me wants to sit and read my Bible everyday, quietly move into a house with 5 other guys, and keep being comfortable, busy, detached “Rittle Brake.” (weird nickname i sometimes go by, sorry). But my spirit has been screaming. For about a year, I’ve been so disoriented: ‘How do I get back to intimacy?’ ‘What do I do to interact like we did before?’ ‘Why aren’t the methods working anymore?’ ‘Why can’t I connect socially?’ … These are some of the questions that have been roaring inside me.”
Man, I’ve had the same/similar questions and longings, and conflict. Sometime you should pray for me or something..